Moving on..

Moving on is one of the hardest things to do, at least for me. Its hard to let go of something that you want. You think to yourself, If I hang on a little longer, I will get what I want. But most of the time that isn't the case. Just cause we try hanging out to something, doesn't mean we can keep it or get it. Its hard to let go of something, we to you it just feels so right. My advice to people that are trying let go and move on, is keep yourself busy, and over time hopefully you'll just move on, and not even realize it.

Maybe some of us are meant to be alone..

Lately, I've spend a lot of time on my own. I was sick for a few days, was stuck in my apartment in my bed. I spent a lot of that time just laying there thinking about my life. Wondering where I am going to end up at. Wondering if I'll get what I want. They say you have to go after what you want and work hard for it, but that doesn't mean we always get what we want. I wondered if I will ever find my prince charming. Almost every relationship I've been or almost in, was a lost cause and I knew that the whole time but yet I still tried. Cause that's what you do is try to make things work. Sometimes it is hard to keep trying when you've been let down and hurt so many times. My girlfriends tell me, you deserve so much better than that jerk. We don't always get what we deserve do we? Its just that my hope is slowly starting to slip away. I am starting to think maybe some of us are meant to be alone. Maybe we are better off that way. Its just a thought.

Maybe love is a choice

Maybe true love is a decision. You know, a decision to take a chance with somebody. To give to somebody.Without worrying whether they'll give anything back. Or if they're gonna hurt you, or if they are really the one. Maybe love isn't something that happens to you. Maybe its something you choose. -Jacks from Love and other disasters.

I recently saw the movie Love and other disasters. Loved it, its one of my new favorite movies. This quote above was said in the movie. When someone comes into your life that could be a possible love interest, you choose to love them or not. You always hope that you are making the right choose. Sometimes choosing to love a person can be the wrong choice. When you realize you have made the wrong choice, you just have to live with it. And pray and hope that someday you will choose the right person to love. Just be careful when trying to choose the right person, and don't wait to long. I hope I will be able to choose the right person for me someday, and hopefully that day is near.

What are you thankful for?

I am thankful for :

• My family, I have the most amazing family. I am truly blessed when it comes to family. My parents are always there for me, and they take care of me. My brother is the best! My cousins and aunts and all of them are pretty awesome too!
• My friends, I have the best friends anyone could ask for. Alana, that girl is such a beautiful person inside and out, and she means the world to me and i know no matter what happens in my life or where i am at, she will always be there for me! Krista, I hate that she lives in another state, we may not talk as much as we used but i will always love her! Lindsey, geez I have known her forever, I love how we don't talk to each other or see each other in a while but then we finally get to talk or see each other, and its like we never were apart, miss her like crazy! Clorae, my newest friend from school, she is pretty amazing, i am glad that I have her! Rasha, we have been friends since 5th grade, and we didn't talk for a really long time but we found each other again, and i am so happy we did, that proves we will always be friends. I have so many friends that I am grateful for like, Kaylee, Dan, Stephanie, Emily, Jeremy, Jessica, and so many more!
• My life, I have a pretty good life. I get to live in a somewhat nice apartment, I have a car, I get to go to school for something i really like. I have so many great things going for me in life, and i have so many things that some people just don't have.

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays. I just get that warm and fuzzy feeling inside, kind of cheesy yes but what i can say. I hope everyone takes time of their busy lives to be grateful for everything they have and the people in their lives. And I hope every is just kind to one another in this time of year. Have a great thanksgiving!!!

Quotes

I love finding new quotes that inspire me, or just puts a smile on my face. Here are some quotes that I have found that I really like, and I hope everyone else likes them too.

• If people are truly, madly,deeply in love with each other, they will find a way.
  
• I laugh, I love, I hope, I try, I hurt, I need, I fear, I cry. And I know you do the same things too. So we're really not that different, me and you.
  
• Courage is the discovery that you may not win and trying when you can lose.
  
• Whenever you are in conflict with someone, there is one factor that make a difference in between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attiude.
  
• Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the starts and listen to you heartbeat or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you aff to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without make one. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how luck he is to have you.. The who turns to his friends and says, " thats her".
  
• Tears are words that heart can't express.
  
• We have no right to ask when a sorrow comes, " why did this happen to me?", unless we ask that same question for every joy that comes our way.
  
• Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.
  
• They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.
  
• There's no half-singing in the shower, you're either a rock star or an opera diva.
  
• If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together.. there is something you must always remember. you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. but the most important thing is, even if we're apart.. i'll always be with you. -Winnie The Pooh
  
• If there ever comes a day when we can't be together keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever-Winnie The Pooh
  
• It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like "What about lunch?" -Winnie The Pooh
  
• Promise me you'll never forget me because if I thought you would I'd never leave.- Winnie the Pooh
  
• If the person you are talking to doesn't appear to be listening, be patient. It may simply be that he has a small piece of fluff in his ear. -Winnie the Pooh
  

Promise me you'll never forget me because if I thought you would I'd never leave

Sometimes in life a person comes along that you never forget. They leave an inprint of them in your heart. Years can go by, and they will still cross your mind. You will wonder where they are and what they are doing. You will wonder if you still cross their mind sometimes. Sometimes if you're lucky that person will come back into your life, and thats when you know they are meant to be a part of your life in some way. You make new memories, and talk about the old ones. when your times ends with them , you hope that their will be more time with them in the future. From the period you last see that person, you may think of them very often wishing they could be with you always. And you pray and hope in that time apart that they won't forget about you. But you know in your heart they won't forget, else you would have never left in the first place.

I Choose....

We all choose how to live our lives, and who to live it with. I have my freinds that I love to death, and my family but that is all I have. I have not had a boyfriend since I was a senior in high school, and right now i am in my second year of college. I have had a few chances to have a boyfriend but I tend to just push them away. I do that because I choose to alone. I choose to be alone cause its easier that way. I don't have to be worried about being left alone cause I already am alone. Or sometimes I push guys away cause really I am wating for someone else. In reality I wish I had somebody to call mine. Somebody that wants to stick around even though I try to push him away. Somebody that will listen to me complain. Somebody that understand me and understand when I have an emotional breakdown. Somebody that will coming running when I need him. Somebody to spend the night with me. Somebody that will always be there. Somebody that won't leave me alone. But for now untill somebody wants to take all of that on (which in my opnion is not that much) I choose to be alone.

Breathe....

Breathe by Anberlin

This is surrender
To a war-torn life I've Lived.
Scars and stripes forever
In need of change I can't resist

No need to hide anything anymore.
Can't return to who I was before.

I can finally breathe.
Suddendly alive.
I can finally move.
The world feels revived

This long of a struggle
Finally opened up my eyes.
Revolution's not easy
With a civil war on the inside.

No need to hide anything anymore.
Can't return to who I was before.

I can finally breathe.
Suddendly alive.
I can finally move.
Cause I realize.

I can finally breathe.
Suddendly alive.

I can finally move.
The world feels revived.

I love this song. I feel like I can breathe again. I haven't felt this content and happy in some time. :) I can feel my old happy smile returning again. I wake up in the morning feeling happy, instead of dreading the day, and feeling okay. I feel great again! And I have to say I do owe some of this to some good friends. And going home for a couple weekends in a row, made things alot better! :) I just feel so happy and revived :)

Stories

For my english class, we are writing personal narratives. And we had to do this exerise about stories and here is what I wrote. and its all based on real life.

My story is hard to explain, because there is so much to my life. I can hardly make my mind up about life decsions. At first I wanted to be a journalist, so I went to the University of Arizona to major in Journalism. Now, I go to the Art Institute of Phoenix, for fashion marketing. After I get my degree in Fashion Marketing and start my career, I would like to go back to school for journalism. The question is, what will I end up doing?

Everyone's story is where they will end up at in life. Will they reach their dreams, or will they give up on their dreams? Will they marry the man or women of their dreams, or settle for less? What will they do with their lives?

My dad's story is he lives for his family. He does everything for his famiy. He pays bills for his family. He gives money to all his children, even though he wants them to work for it. He puts his children through college. He takes a loan out for his daughter to follow her dream at AI. He is a hero to his family.

The neighbor's story is that they are amazing people. They are caring and giving. They care about their neighbors and all their neighbors care about them.

His story is that he will end up alone. Karma will come to haunt him for the way he has treated people. He doesn't deserve to have anyone, and if he deosn't change, he won't have anyone. He'll never have me again.

My mom's story is a that she is role model and an inspiration to everyone around her. She is a listener to other people's story, but never judges. She cares enough to tell people the truth. She never gives up on people. She has changed lives and she will change many more lives.

Mrs. Russel's story is that she a history teacher. But she is more than that, she is a caring, inspiring, and strong women. She pushes her students to be the best they can be in not only school but in their lives as well.

Your story is that you are scared of life. You are scared to live your own life by your own rules and terms. You are scared of what other people think about what you want to do with your life and how you want to live your life.

Purple's story is that it is a strong color. In the olden days purple was worn by royality.

Life's story is that it is hard but it is also crazy, wonderful and beautiful.

One person's story begins with falling in love and another's begins with falling out of love.

What happens when your heart gets broken?

What happens when the hope you once had dissappears?

What happens when a memory starts to slip away?

I say, you have to go through heart breaks to find happiness, you have loose hope to find new hope in something else or someone, you forget memories when new memories are made.

LiFe..

In life things happen. Good and bad. Things happen that come to us as big surprise, things we never see coming. Someetimes it good and sometimes its bad. But no matter we think, we arent only survivors but warriors. Even though life tries to knock us around, as long as we fight back, we don't fail and we arent just survivors, but warriors. We can't live in fear, if we live in fear, we only are letting life around us win. We have to face our fear head on, thats the only way to beat it. We cant sit around and hope things work out the way we want, we have to take risk every day to get what we want.
In life things happen, but we also have to make things happen. And we cant be just survivors, we must always be warriors!!

Don't close the book, just turn the page

Why do I write? When I was in Jr. High I use to be on the school the newspaper, and I was actually some what go at it. And then after Jr. High, I didn't really write much. Then in high school, I took Journalism again, and wrote for the school newspaper. Thats when I decided I wanted to be a writer. My orginal plan was to go to the University of Arizona and get a degree in journalism. By the end my first and only year there, I realized the type of writing I liked was not the type of writing my degree would bring me. But that doesn't really answer why I like to write. I like to write because it helps me to release my thoughts from head. And I don't have to stand face to face some one, and talk to them, some times that just scares the hell out of me. ( kind of silly I know). Writing frees me in my own little way.

Cried me a river

I still remember the day that we met

I hold on to every word you said

Asked me to surrender and thats what I did

And you broke my heart again and again

So now you are sorry like youre all in love but where was your sorry when you broke it all up

I told myself never again there aint no way im letting you in

because I keep on remembering when you played me

I cried me a river, I cried me a sea, I cried me an ocean, I cried me a stream,

I'm fresh outta teardrops you've got me on E

I'm out of emotion got nothing in me,

and I would have done anything in the world for you

I would have done anything that you told me too,

I cried me a river, I cried me a sea and I aint got nothin left in me...

You cant have my number

dont want to be friends

I dont care to see you now and then

it's not that im bitter

it's just that I'm done my heart finally said enough is enough

So now you are sorry like you're all in love but you wasnt sorry when you messed it all up

I told myself never again there aint no way I'm letting you in

because I keep rememberin when you played me

I cried me a river, I cried me a sea, I cried me an ocean, I cried me a stream,

I'm fresh out of teardrops you've got me on E

I'm out of emotion got nothing in me,

and I would have done anything in the world for you

I would have done anything that you told me too,

I cried me a river, I cried me a sea and I aint got nothing left in me...

Just in case your not clear and you think theres a chance

theres no way you'll get near this or have me again until hell has frozen over

you need to understand you'll never get with me again

I cried me a river, I cried me a sea, I cried me an ocean, I cried me a stream,

I'm fresh out of teardrops you've got me on E

I'm out of emotion got nothing in me,

and I would have done anything in the world for you

I would have done anything that you told me too,

I cried me a river, I cried me a sea and I aint got nothing left in me..

I cried me a river, I cried me a sea, I cried me an ocean, I cried me a stream,

I'm fresh out of teardrops you've got me on E

I'm out of emotion got nothing in me

and I would have done anything in the world for you

I would have done anything that you told me too,

I cried me a river, I cried me a sea and I aint got nothin left in me...

I cried me a river, I cried me a sea, I cried me an ocean, I cried me a stream,

I'm fresh outta teardrops you've got me on E

im outta emotion got nothing in me...

Your tears are words your heart cant say. Your tears are what releases the pain from inside your heart. Your tears is the healing power that your heart needs. Once you've cried all the tears you can cry, you can start moving on and start forgetting why you were crying those tears in the first place. I've been though alot in my life, I've been hurt by people that were never suppose to hurt me, I've lost loved ones or ones I thought I loved, I've had my heart broken more than once and usually its worse each time, I've lost hope, I've lost trust in people. And even all those things have left me completly broken many times, and I've cried my eyes out, doesn't mean I am weak. A good cry can do some good, its helps you to move on and let go of all those bad things. Every day you heal a little more, and can once again look foward and smile knowing that you'll always be okay in the end.

Pain....

Pain can either be physical, or emotional. To me, emotional pain is worst than physical. Physical pain can go away with take pain pills but emotional pain just sticks around for however long. You try forgetting the pain but some thing alway triggers it again. The pain is usually brought on from some one else. Half the time they don't even know the pain they are causing you to have. When you try to ignore the pain, it just keeps building up more and more. Eventually you just lose controll and break down. But hopefully you friends and family will be there to help heal the pain. Its to know that you can turn to someone in that time of need and a simple hug from them makes all the difference. I am so grateful to have people that care about me. There presence just makes things 10x better and that much easier to deal with. Thank you so much!!

The Heart Of Fashion <3

The Heart of Fashion, is a fashion show for charities benefiting Child Crisis Center of East Valley, Save the Family Foundation, High school Scholarships and other charities. I applaud every one that took part in this amazing event. The people that put the event together, did an awesome job. The designers clothes were beautiful and very cute. The phoenix college girls did a verison of Project Runaway, they were only allowed to use clothing from good will. They put together some amazing some outfits. The hair and make-up ladies did such an awesome job, they made the girls look absolutly beautiful. ( even though they alread were). Dylan's designs were stuning! Franchecas clothes were very cute!! All the AI girls, Dylan's girls and all the other models did such an amazing job! It was a great show!! and for a great cause! :)

It breaks your heart, when people you know become people you knew,and there's nothing you can do about it.

Friends they come and go. You think someone is your friend but you could be wrong. Some people just pretend to be your friend because they have no one else to be friends with. And then once some other people come around that they find more suitable to be friends, you get replaced and pushed away in a sense. Most of the time your so called friend doesn't even realized they are replacing you and pushing you away.What do you do when this happens? Do you stick around or find new friends?

LIfe Changes With The Seasons

As the seasons changes so does life. Sometimes you don't even realize your life is changing, it just happens. Sometimes you waiting around for you're life to change, other times you are dreading the change in your life.
In the last year, my life has changed completly. This time last year, I was at the Universtiy of Arizona, for Journalism. UofA was fun and all but just not for me. It was overwhelming and stressful attending such a huge school. At the end of the school year, I realized there was no way I could go back there and be happy. Therefore, while I was at home for summer, I had to come up with a new plan. I looked at schools, school like community colleges mostly. Then I came upon The Art Institute of Phoenix. Their Fashion Marketing progam really caught my eye. When I was going to get my Journalism degree, I was hoping to become a fashion journalist. So majoring in Fashion Marketing sounded like something I would really like. Especially since I someday I want to work for Vogue. After I meet with a lady name Gail from AI, I decided that I was going to move to phoenix and attend the Art Institute of Phoenix. I have gotten through 2 classes, and know that I am now where I am suppose to be at and I am very happy.
Moving to Phoenix, was a very big change. I had to make new friends, which was not to hard. I have made some good friends. I am learning to read people alot better so that I get screwed over, like has happened to me many times. I've grown alot since I moved. Which is always good. My best friend from back home just recently moved down too, so that is nice having her around. My life is going pretty good right now, and I am very happy about the changes in my life. And I am ready for many more changes sure to come my way.